Self love…Part one
We hear this notion of self love and loving yourself all the time.
We know what it is right- basically just learning how to love yourself. Right?
Self love is more than just loving yourself and knowing you deserve love.
It is more about knowing that YOU ARE LOVE.
But how does this really look like?
How can we really manifest abundance and success through self love?
We know we want more happiness.
We know we want more love.
We know we want success.
We want to feel understood.
But what does this all look like?
How do we get there?
How can you learn to truly love yourself?
In this article I will draw on my personal experience, stories and intuition to inspire you to think about what self love looks like for you, the importance of self love, how to cultivate positive lifestyle habits, and how changing your ingrained thought patterns can invite greater opportunities into your life.
Continue this path to self love in Part Two as I provide you with meaningful practices for self love and self worth that I practise myself.
Self love is about really coming into alignment with your heart and trusting your intuition that will help you rise and achieve your success.
For me, when I really go inward and connect with my soul, the meaning of love goes beyond inner love.
When I think about it, it actually feels like a deep loving relationship that requires no other person. That with or without another person, I am full of lightness, in a high frequency and really at peace with myself.
Not looking to the outside for more.
As I share my story with you, about my path of becoming my own goddess of love and how my soul power was ignited, I hope to enlighten and inspire your journey to achieving your soul power of self love.
To also bring you more clarity, self worth, a better understanding of your needs and to attract successful and positive relationships.
The common shadows that block self-love in order to flourish
Upon my interaction with different women- throughout my personal and professional life with mothers and dance classes, I realised most of these women had many things in common, regardless of the context.
They had lost their essence, their true self, their ability to be kindness, love and compassion.
Mothers for example, have this amazing ability to care for their families but I found some losing sight of their own needs.
When talking about women In relationships, I always noticed common patterns of attracting men with behaviours such as not committing, manipulation or in general, women’s “needs” not being met.
I guess this is something every woman experiences at some point.
Through my dance classes, I witnessed a lack of confidence amongst women, self-doubt, low self-esteem- through their body movements, how they hold themselves even as they walk, and their avoidance to their reflection in the mirror.
Again, behaviours that some of us may resonate with.
Regardless of the mentioned above, these women were all seeking to transform their life, they wanted to feel love and adored, they wanted to feel happy, understood and overall confident in their own skin.
At the end of the day, we are all really sharing the same stories.
Perhaps we have never been given the tools to really use this power of self-love to cultivate success and light into our life. Or it has been lost from generation to generation.
My first encounter with self-love
As with my experience working with children, I was always in ore of the compassion and empathy they naturally encompass for others who share love with them. They never question anyone when someone exhibits love to them- they accept all the love because they know they deserve it.
The confidence they have in themselves, with no fear of how they will be perceived to the outside world amazes me. To me, this displays that we as humans are born with this natural acceptance of who we are.
And that, is self-love at its best.
However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I fully comprehended the power of self love. Now that I practice it, it becomes essential in my life to attract success.
One of my tasks in my past life was to coach to these growing human beings what love really means, and I used to apply a simple fact that goes:
Love is a fundamental human need along with shelter, food, water, air, clothing.
Seems simple enough right?
But I feel that as life passes by, we forget how to really love ourselves.
So, what happens along the way in our life?
We are told we need love, but are we really guided into understanding how to cultivate and where must we look first?
My “snowball” story:
seeking love from external sources
Standard values which are shaped by society and culture, experiences, heartbreaks, maybe even past lives; begin to shape our thought patterns, our stories in our minds or perceptions of ourselves. Perhaps we never really comprehend what our core values are because of this.
Reflecting back on my life as a teenager, I have recollections of comparing myself with other girls.
The inner voice of comparing began to overtake thoughts of self-acceptance.
I wish I had blonde hair like…
I wish we had more money to…
I wish I could dance like her…
I guess this began the cycle of fulfilment; looking to the exterior rather than within.
How easily we as women are approached daily to look to the material world to fill our lives with happiness and peace. Sure they are helpful temporarily, but are they the answers to cultivating authentic self-love?
Little did I know that this “language” would soon be embedded into my subconscious without knowing my insecurities would soon become part of negative self talk.
Our minds become reshaped and conditioned. We develop ingrained patterns that cause us to create stories about ourselves. In turn, we become the bad guy and our own enemy.
Our ego loves this negative inner voice as Ekhart Tolle always refers.
I began to lose sight of my true essence, my core values, my self worth and my disconnection with my heart began to grow.
How could I appreciate my qualities and offer my gifts to this world if I hadn’t been given the tools to do so. More importantly, I hadn’t understood the power of self love.
And so in a world of comparing, a society of looking a certain way, obsession with weight loss and necessity to be ageless (and the list goes on), my pattern of self-doubt, lack of self-love and self-worth complimented this my inner voice.
This began to be projected through my experiences with people and especially in my relationships. I was seeking love, validation or self-worth from someone else and I was completely oblivious to this.
In turn, my dark elements or shadows, like fear and insecurity took effect. And my cycle continued attracting what I was.
Fear, insecurity, unworthiness.
Fear hides behind many guises, ruining plenty of love lives.
From that, I was not being understood, I guess because I hadn’t believed in what I wanted or needed.
Jeremia Abrams, leading expert on the human shadow, explains the shadow to be imprints of ways of being in our personal paths, and usually plays a part of our identity- the I self.
It seems I was having a really shit time right?
The truth is… I didn’t even know it was happening. I was not in touch with my spirit and my heart. Therefore, I wasn’t aware but I was in this constant endless battle of not being understood.
How many of you have been in relationships where it ended because you didn’t feel loved enough or safe enough, or fear to be abandoned or you were trying to make it work so much that you lost sight of what it is you need?
I finally broke the Cycle…
I began opening myself up (from my early twenties) to yoga, to dance and seeking answers and tools, in a way to break my cycle and achieve a spiritual balance.
I started to tune in and become more aware of my intuition however, the issue was that even though it would come in to say hello, I wasn’t completely trusting it.
I was still not aware of the power of my intuition, my soul, my light.
Then one day, after a breakup, I had my first real awakening or awareness to my truth.
My break up helped me to face my pain for my real awakening. I began confiding in my spiritual healer, Gloria (I have mentioned her in other posts) who helped me bring balance back into my life and shed this notion of unworthiness. We focused on real deep work of self-love and worth-of knowing that I am love, I am compassion.
I discovered under the conscious mind, this loving, compassionate beautiful person that I am, there was a girl terrified of abandonment of the people she loves the most and fear she may not be loved.
I had a true realisation that I was enough.
I deserved all the love.
My needs were worthy.
I was ready to express and communicate them clearly.
From then on…
My heart opened more, I tuned into my love and truth.
I began to attract abundance, love and compassion.
My interactions with people began to change, I began to even make new friends and then of course… I met Carlos. A person with an abundance of love to give with not wanting anything else in return other than to be loved back. Where my relationship is balanced, I have respect and I am understood because I realised what it is I am.
The relationships we have with ourselves depicts the relationship and experience we have with others.
It wasn’t until later in my life, a couple of years ago, I realised I was given this gift to guide women or teach them the importance of their soul power.
I began offering dance classes (in a safe space) to women, encouraging them to move in ways that made them feel empowered and embodied. I was igniting something special in them again- it was a reconnection with their true self, to their heart.
This concept of a safe space allowed women to break down their masks of what they had been hiding about themselves, to look in the mirror and really see their true self…
And LOVE what they see.
They began to feel confident, they began to accept their body, their essence, they were beginning to love again. There was a sense of self-acceptance and a new magic in the air.
Rise up by knowing you are love
I believe when we fully accept the person we are and learn how to really love ourselves fully, only then we can attract light, love and abundance.
The magic lies in going inward and appreciating the gifts you have. It is the challenge to really accept ourselves, shadows and all.
I love what Gabriel Bernstein states: “When we feel great about ourselves, we have the confidence to share our gifts with the world.”
When we do what inspires us, we can then inspire others. By learning to love and be kind to ourselves without seeking it from an external source, we can really offer our best selves to the world.
When you are rooted and emanating that self-love connected to your sacredness, knowing you’re enough- you attract love in so many forms (romantic, friendships, etc) into your life.
You attract it because you are being that Goddess of love. This is where the goddess of Aphrodite invites us to be more in love.